Welcome and thank you for being a vital part of the community
Whereismybaby.com would like to invite members of the community to express how they feel about their child's caregiver, report "sightings" involving remarkable behavior - good or bad - and to discuss current headlines so that we can collectively make NYC a safer place for young children who are cared for by nannies and so that we can give good nannies the praise and gratitude they deserve.
Please feel free to post suggestions and questions about our services. Thank you in advance for your participation in this forum.
Sincerely,
Tamara Piblad
Founder, WhereIsMyBaby.com
Please feel free to post suggestions and questions about our services. Thank you in advance for your participation in this forum.
Sincerely,
Tamara Piblad
Founder, WhereIsMyBaby.com
posted by howismybabysitting? at 9:28 AM
477 Comments:
Hello:
I was wondering if there was ever a background check conducted on Noella Allick?
I do not believe there was ever an "official" background check on the recently convicted nanny, Noella Allick; however, WhereIsMyBaby.com is going to conduct a background check on Noella Allick to see what would have surfaced had a thorough background check been conducted.
Noella Allick and the pain she caused the Donohue family make me afraid to go back to work. WOuld you recommend nanny cams in all rooms of the house?
How can we protect ourselves from the Noella Allicks of this world: Do you think a background check or nanny cam could have prevented this?
"I didn't sense the danger." This is a tragic example of why we cannot rely on our instincts to tell us who to trust. Noella Allick got off easy.
Keeping Children From Harm
Stronger Punishment For Physical Abusers
Tom Durante - tdurante@longislandpress.com 08/03/2006 12:29 pm
Five years ago, a licensed day-care provider took her frustration out on an
8-month old baby girl she was caring for in Yonkers. The infant, Cynthia Gibbs, was shaken so violently that her skull was fractured, causing bleeding on both sides of her brain. Baby Cynthia died on Nov. 17, 2000.
“Cynthia’s Law,” authored by state Sen. Nick Spano and signed into law recently by Gov. George Pataki, toughens the penalties for those whose reckless violence causes injury to a young child’s delicate brain. The law goes into effect on Nov. 1.
Cynthia was a victim of shaken baby syndrome, which occurs when the violent shaking of a child causes the developing brain to strike the skull, resulting in
bleeding and eventually death. Even if a child survives the head trauma, he or she will suffer memory, cognitive and motor development problems.
The new law creates the crime of reckless assault of a child. The crime will be a Class D violent felony offense, resulting in a term of between two and seven years in state prison. It will apply to a suspect who recklessly causes serious physical injury to the brain of a child by shaking, slamming or throwing the child.
“I am proud to sign a law today that will ensure that if anyone recklessly causes serious injury to the brain of a child less than 5 years old, that person will be more appropriately punished,” Pataki said in a statement on July 30.
While many on Long Island may not know about shaken baby syndrome, cases of such abuse are a harsh reality.
“It’s the worst thing you can do to a child,” says Janet Walerstein, executive director of the Child Care Council of Suffolk, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing resources and referrals for parents seeking reliable childcare. “There’s probably more cases that we don’t know about.”
One Nassau caregiver, Noella Allick, tagged the “monster nanny” in the tabloids, was charged with shaking Manhattan baby Sarah Jane Donahue. Allick, 29, also confessed to shaking a baby in Nassau last year. The Nassau County District Attorney’s Office could not immediately provide information on that case.
In Suffolk, there have been at least three cases so far this year.
The first involved Juan Ramirez, 29, and girlfriend Angela Mata, 32, both of Brentwood, who became co-defendants after their 3-month-old son, Reyli Ramirez, was violently shaken on May 9. Remarkably, Reyli survived. Juan Ramirez has been charged with three felony assault charges and one count of endangering the welfare of a child. Mata is facing one charge of endangering the welfare of a child. The couple is due back in court on Aug. 10. Reyli is recovering and doing much better, according to Suffolk District Attorney Thomas Spota’s office.
Joseph Perri’s son, Gabriel, died on March 2 in Suffolk after doctors discovered symptoms consistent with shaken baby syndrome. Perri was originally accused of assault, but after his 4-month-old son died, he was charged with second-degree murder, first-degree manslaughter and endangering the welfare of a child. Perri, 24, of North Lindenhurst, was also charged with third-degree assault and endangering the welfare of a child in connection with an incident earlier, on Feb. 23, in which Perri intentionally let the child fall but did not seek medical care for the baby’s head injury. Perri’s next court appearance is Aug. 30.
Most recently in Suffolk, on July 14, 26-year-old Julio Rivera of Brentwood was charged with second-degree murder, second-degree manslaughter and endangering the welfare of a child for the March 31 death of his 5-month old son, Eric. Rivera also allegedly blew PCP-laced marijuana smoke in the infant’s face to keep the child quiet. An autopsy revealed signs of acute, repeated head injury, consistent with shaken baby syndrome, as well as high levels of PCP and marijuana. The baby’s mother, Cynthia Morales, 25, was slapped with the same charges for her role in Eric’s death. Rivera and Morales are due back in court on Aug. 16.
Besides toughening penalties, Cynthia’s Law will also amend the Public Health Law, to develop and implement a new Department of Health public information and education campaign on shaken baby syndrome. Experts agree that while harsher punishment for committing this type of abuse may be long overdue, education is the key.
“There needs to be more public awareness of brain development and how fragile a child’s brain is,” says Walerstein.
Did Noella Allick take care of your baby? If you have any information about the "monster" nurse, call Manhattan prosecutors (212) 335-4317.
I think that nanny cams are the only way to go.
Based on the cases I have seen in NYC, nanny cams should always be in place before your nanny starts working.
Do you install nanny cams? If so, do you rent out or sell them. THX.
Hello:
This morning in the small playground in Central Park, there was a caucasian nanny, approximately 50 years old with a brown long coat and very short, curly brown hair watching a young boy with very light blond hair who appeared to be less than a year old. The stroller was a new red Bugaboo. The baby had no sox or shoes on and was crawling around the floor. The nanny was on her cell phone the entire time and paid no attention when the baby started crawling away. The baby had to have been on the opposite end of the park and clearly not in the nanny's sight. I heard the nanny refer to the baby as Christopher when a mom in the park asked who the child belonged to. The mom asked this because the gate to the park almost swung into the baby.
Would you advise leasing or renting nanny cams?
Thanks,
concerned NYC mom
What were the references thinking? I am sure they did not have nanny cams, right?
Why do we trust people who are watching our children more than we trust our doorman. Would you leave your child with the doorman? You must trust your doorman/super or you would say something about it.
November 1, 2006
Saw a nanny this afternoon at 3:30 with two young girls (clearly sisters). The older one (maybe 7?) had on a colorful polka-dotted Jansport backpack; the younger one I believe is Sadie or Zadie. She made a couple of unremarkable comments, like "I'm looking at the stuff" at the store on 7th Ave. and 5th Street and the nanny was really harsh with her the rest of the time they were in the store "Yes, I know you are looking. EXPLAIN TO ME HOW I COULD NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. HUH? Tell me how I could possibly not know what 'looking' means." After a pause, Sadie said something like "I just said I was looking" and the nanny went off on her again. She really berated her for the rest of the time in the store and when it was time to go, the older girl urgently said to her sister, "Come on Sadie! Come on!" looking nervous; maybe she thought they were in trouble?
We all lose our patience sometimes but I saw no love or affection or kindness in this nanny's dealings with your children. She was excessively sarcastic and cold to two kids who were doing nothing wrong. Take note.
Received Monday, October 30, 2006
In line on Saturday 10/28 for a table at Serendipity when your nanny/au pair came along with your 10(?) and 6(?) year old. They were quite behind us in line and also waiting for a table when your nanny/ au pair asked your ten year old to hold the spot in line while she ran over to Dylans with "Sophie". I imagine most of the patrons assumed your 10(?) year old was with us and worry not as I kept my eye on him. Your nanny/au pair returned fifteen minutes later with candy for all. Exceedingly bad judgment on her part!
Today (November 6th) I saw a nanny with straight black hair with twin boys in a blue double stroller. The babysitter was dressed for the cold; but neither of the boys had coats, hats or gloves on. The nanny's jacket was white (North Face). If this nanny is watching your twin boys, tell her to dress them for the weather.
I have seen some wonderful nannies in the Trump Place District (West 60s and Riverside Blvd.). Unfortunately, this morning a nanny (Caucasion, slim, early-to-mid 40s, short reddish-brown hair) who was doing laundry next to me in the building's laundromat, left the room to take a cell phone call. She left the baby (approx. 1 year old) in the stroller next to me in the laundry room. For nearly 15 minutes!! Hope this neglect was caught on camera. This nanny needs to be watched!!!!!
I am a doorman at the Ansonia. A visiting nanny came in with a baby girl, couldn't be more than a year old. The nanny had a black puffy coat, black/gray hair, very Pale skin (app. 45 years old). When the nanny tried to get the coat off the little girl, she got frustrated and nearly tore the baby girl's arm off. She was also cursing in the baby's face. I had to tell her to leave and she told me to F--K off. I hope that this gets to the little girl's parents before this nanny has a chance to do anymore damage.
To the nanny of the twin girls who live at 116 86th Street, you had better turn your self in. I am giving you a chance. Otherwise, I will tell the parents and (if the parents want me to), the police. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Will you please just write the nanny's name on this site?
Nanny cams are the way to go. You can rent them now.
Heads up in the Trump Place area. I am concerened about this area because I constantly see nannies pushing their strollers into the crosswalks without looking. There are only stopsigns in this area--no stoplights. The drivers in this area seem more concerned with catching that choice parking space than paying attention to pedestrians and strollers. I have seen several near-misses in the last few months. Parents and nannies beware--this area is not like the majority of Manhattan. Watch out!!
I definitely would recommend at least one nanny cam per home - you can change the nanny cam from room to room and the nanny will not suspect it if it is discreet. In this context, I do not recommend a nanny cam designed to look like a teddy bear or a Grandfather clock.
I agree with Saffy. For a neighborhood that is supposed to be child friendly, it is very dangerous. Maybe there is some way to make pedestrians more noticeable to the drivers.
Hello:
I would just like to know why Nannies do not look both ways before they cross the street? Are they using the baby stroller as a shield? Who did these nannies take lessons from, Britney Spears?
Sorry for the long email but I had to respond. I had what seemed to be a
wonderful nanny. She was the baby nurse of a friend's friend and wanted to nanny
in the city not in the burbs, so she came to me. She was young and a mother of
twin girls herself. She practically lived with us. Did nights and was with us
for long days. We really thought of her as part of our family. We had a very
very rough year with my boys and she was such a support etc...she even cried
with me and my husband on one very difficult and emotionally draining ocassion.
I never wanted her to take my boys outside but when the weather got nice out I
slowly let her take them out. She would be out sometimes for 2 hours and claimed
she was at the park on the swings etc...I had a strange feeling that was not the
case but I trusted her and gave her times to be back to structure the times out.
I am home full time so I had every opportunity to check up on her etc....May
rolled around and we were preparing for one of my son's surgery and one day she
just didn't show up. We tried getting in touch with her and nothing (her family
said she was ok but "not home" to take our call). She left us 2 weeks before the
surgery with no explanation, no contact. I was so upset! I couldn't believe that
someone could take care of 2 premature babies daily (and 3 nights/week) for over
6 months, act like she's apart of your family and then can just walk out with
out a care in the world. Regardless of why she chose to leave, she did so in the
most disrespectful way possible. Then my cleaning lady told me stories that when
I'd leave the apt, Susan would lock herself in the boys room and talk on her
cell. She left the boys on the floor all alone with no stimulation or anything
to the point that my cleaning lady would play with them. Then Susan would come
out to the boys when she thought I'd be home and start to play with them. She
even told the cleaning lady that. Its crazy! So now I am a full time mom with no
interest in having a nanny. I am sure there are some great nannies out there but
I have only seen one woman (in my building) who I thought was the child's
grandma and found out just how much she was being paid and YIKES!!! I am in the
parks all day and on the street and I always wish I had the name and number of
the moms who hired some of these nannies. Its really shameful. I understand that
people need to or want to work but to think for one second that there's no need
to ever check up on your child's nanny is just naiive. I was at home with my
nanny and didn't know what was goign on when I left for just a few short hours
because I trusted too much. Obviosuly we have to trust the people that care for
our kids but it doesn't hurt to check up on them just to make sure. I think it's
our responsibility as moms and dads to really see what happens when we're not
around.
And fyi, in case you might or someone you know might now have her, my nanny's
name was Susan Wynters-from Trinadad.
-michele neubart
Hi Michelle,
We had a very similar incidence of neglect in our house with our caregiver.
The nanny we hired was highly recommended by a friend and at the time we
felt really confident in our decision. I started to have a hunch that
something wan't quite right and started to do some "survellience." We found
that as soon as we left the apartment she would ignore them until she knew
that we might be coming home. We were sickened by what was going on. It
will take a long time before we will trust another caregiver. We continue
to do spot checks and pop in at very unexpected times as well as go to the
park to see what she is doing with the kids. I do agree that our
expectations of our caregivers should be realistic, but there are some very
bad ones out there that are actually quite crafty. I think in this day and
age we should not be nieve and think that it could never happen to us,
because it does. Caregivers should always be treated with respect and feel
comfortable in discussing the daily issues that arise. Unfortunately, we
did all the right things to make her feel that she had a good job and yet it
still failed. I understand exactly what you went through.
Laura
Hi Lisa, OMG!!! I can not believe that you interviewed Susan Wynters. I really
hope that if someone in this group knows anyone who hired her to get rid of her
ASAP. She also stole money from us on her last day btw! If she was able to leave
me after the way we treated her and her family (I gave her daughters a dresser
for their room, bought them gifts etc....), then she could do the same to
anyone. Just hearing this makes me want to cry! She left us 2 weeks before a
very difficult time for Colby and left us with no one to care for Blake. My
parents were able to come into town (they live in montreal) for a few days post
op but the recovery time was at least 2 weeks and my husband missed so much
work. I can't believe she has the nerve to interview in the twin community. You
must not live on the UES, because I wouldn't think shed have the nerve to risk
running into me. -
Horrible about the five year old boy who was hit by a car and killed in Brooklyn. The driver was arrested.
I want to let everyone at the Ansonia and the community know that this blog works. The family who employed the nanny read the blog and contacted me. I feel like a hero.
Saffy-
Unbelievable about the boy who was hit in Brooklyn. Keep me updated on what improvements are made.
How is the five year old boy hit by a car in Brooklyn. Are they going to press charges?
My condelences to the family of the boy hit by a car in Brooklyn, New York.
Nanny cams are essential and I am not normally a person who is pro-surveillance.
Saffy-
Any news on the boy hit in Brooklyn. What a car wreck!
Thank you to doorman for saving our child from a bad nanny.
You will be rewarded at Christmas.
This is so much better than the I saw your nanny blogspot.
I think it is great they are going to have cameras on buses in NYC. Are people opposed to this because of the fear of "big brother watching?"
I do think that you should have at least two nanny cams in the home (depending of course, how many children you have). If you have more than one child and they do not share a room, then ad an additional camera for each child's room.
That being said, based on my twenty plus years working for child safety and protective services, I would also advise spot-checking nannies.
Britney Spears, Britney Spears, Britney Spears, Britney Spears, o.k. what about Ed Bradley dying?
He was a great dad.
Rumsfeld, I am so glad he is gone, hope that Bush is gone soon too.
Hello:
I want to let the parents of twins named Greg and Randy that they have, to me, an excellent nanny/babysitter, whose name I believe is Sylvia. Greg and Randy's parents live in the building I work in on the Upper East Side. Once I found out about this site, I felt I had to post something on my day off.
I saw Britney Spears last night on the upper west side. She looked like the old Britney Spears and she was buying diapers for her baby. I am so glad she dropped K-Fed.
It is strange...this seemed like an intelligent website offering tips on nanny cams in NYC, surveillance of babysitters in NYC but instead everyone is talking about Britney Spears. Please guide me to the discussion on nanny cams?
I agree.
What happened to the talk on nanny cams?
Nanny cams, Nanny cams, Nanny cams; Let's get back to Britney Spears and K-Fed again.
My nanny seems depressed. It's odd, but I'm concerned and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I'm concerened with her welfare but I'm also starting to feel paranoid that her behavior may effect my child. Any advice????
Newbie-
Call me immediately. I highly recommend installing nanny cams in your home. Did you conduct a background check prior to hiring your nanny? Did you ask her about her family? Please call me as soon as possible regarding the nanny cam installation. I can come on Sunday or whatever day is convenient for you.
Tamara Pilblad
I agree, you should not fire her, but you should install nanny cams and take it wasy on her the next few weeks. What kind of relationship fo you and your nanny have?
Nanny cams are essential and so affordable. Why doesn't everyone use them? Is it because they don't want to see if their nanny is abusing their child? The child needs protection, not the parents (generally) or the nannies (privacy concerns). But that's just my opinion.
Thank you all for your comments. Newcie, please call me at your earliest convenience. Thank you, The Undercover Mother.
Who do you think will get custody of the children, Britney or K-fed?
K-fed would make a better father.
Do you think Donald Rumsfeld is a good father?
How many children does Donald Rumsfeld have? More or less that Britney Spears and K-Fed?
How many nannies does Katie COuric have? What about Bragnelina. They must have mary poppins galore. has anyone seen the Broadway movie, "Mary Poppins?" I heard it was great even though nither Britney Speats or Tara Reid were in it.
Sometimes I feel this is the only post I can go to and feel comfortable (did I tell you I was a single mom? Does anyone online know anywhere to meet nice Jewish single men? As long as they use nanny cams, I am open to dating them. What do you think>
Has anyone seen Babel? What do you gys think of Brad Pitt in Babel?
Saffie,
How are things going with your new nanny? How are the nanny cams coming along? Did you do a background check?
When it was time to arrange childcare for their 8-month-old son, Jake and Anna Barron (not their real names), did everything by the book. The Manhattan couple, both in their mid-30s, interviewed at least a dozen nannies, some referred by friends, others found through a bulletin board at their pediatrician's office and still others by responding to ads in a local newspaper reputed to be place to find a nanny.
The woman they ended up choosing after weeks of interviewing was, says Jake, "the best of the lot." They spoke to her at length about her background and experience, scrupulously checked her references (all were glowing), and watched her interact with their son, Evan. "She sat right down on the floor of Evan's bedroom and played with him during the entire interview," says Anna, a high school social studies teacher. "She seemed genuinely involved and sweet."
But after the nanny had been on the job for about four weeks, Anna and Jake couldn't fight the feeling that something was amiss. When the nanny arrived in the morning, Evan acted uncertain. He didn't seem happy around her, wasn't affectionate toward her, and was generally upset to see his parents go.
"We didn't know if it was normal separation anxiety or not," says Jake, a researcher in developmental psychology. "But it didn't sit right with us."
Hoping to prove that their suspicions were nothing more than new parent jitters, Jake and Anna called up a surveillance company that dealt in nanny cams -- small hidden cameras often placed within a common household items like smoke detectors or teddy bears -- that are wired back to a VCR or computer that allow parents to watch how a caregiver interacts with their child in their absence.
A company technician came right over with a camera concealed inside a clock radio, aimed it at an active spot in the Barrons' living room, wired it to their VCR, showed them how to use it and left them to discover the truth about what was going on in their home.
It took only one day.
When Jake and Anna came home that first night, they hit the "play" button on the VCR with shaking hands. What they witnessed, Jake says, was "stomach-turning."
Tonight: Saving Time, Saving Lives - See what emergency rooms are doing to drastically reduce the wait.
The couple saw Evan left all by himself on the living room floor, crying hysterically, craning his head around, desperately looking for someone to comfort him. Behind him, just out of his view, the nanny paced back and forth, talking on the phone. Eventually, the nanny left the room altogether, coming back only to yell at Evan.
"The person we saw on the tape was in no way related to the person who had interviewed with us and who reported to us at the end of every day," Jake says. "We realized that this had probably been going on for weeks."
Unwilling to leave the nanny alone with their child for even one more minute, Jake and Anna called her up that night and fired her on the spot.
Over the last few years, interest in nanny cams has risen steadily. In a recent study, the Dallas market research firm Parks Associates found that 19 percent of U.S. households with at least one child at home have expressed interest in using a nanny cam, up from 16 percent two years ago. A spokeswoman for CCS International, parent company of U.S. retailer Counter Spy Shops, told the Wall Street Journal in May that nanny cam sales at the chain's four stores have risen 25 percent in the past five years.
And as interest has climbed, prices have plummeted -- by about one-half in the last five years. Though it is still possible to spend several thousand dollars on a fancy, custom-installed multi-camera system from a high-end surveillance company or several hundred dollars on a camera concealed inside a stuffed animal or a tissue box from a company like TBO-TECH Hidden Cameras, a basic do-it-yourself wireless camera like the Xcam2 from X-10 Wireless Technology -- the people behind those persistent pop-up ads -- costs only about $80.
"In the last two or three years, our product has become somewhat ubiquitous," X-10 spokesman Jeff Denenholz says. "It's grown into a common household tool."
Indeed, in an age when more and more Americans rely on some sort of childcare and shocking tales of neglect and abuse flood the evening news, parents are turning to nanny cams for comfort and control in increasing numbers.
Stories like Jake and Anna's don't surprise Steve Sleicher, vice president of Kid-View, Inc., a child-monitoring service in Great Neck, N.Y. Sleicher says a full 70 percent of his clients fire their nannies after just one day of camming.
"We've seen everything: drug use, the liquor cabinet, the boyfriend over," Sleicher says.
Lori Berke, 42, started helping families outfit their homes with nanny cams in 1996, after she found out her own nanny was mistreating her daughter. Now president of Care Check, a New York company specializing in surveillance systems (and a Kid-View affiliate), Berke says her goal is to ensure that other parents don't experience the horror that she went through.
"My nanny had 17 years of experience and I thought she was just fabulous," says Berke, who has also coauthored a book, "Making Childcare Choices: How to Find, Hire, and Keep the Best Childcare for Your Kids." But after borrowing a camera from a friend who insisted that something seemed off about the nanny, she watched as her trusted sitter left her baby daughter bundled in a snowsuit for hours inside a hot apartment, left her alone in her crib with the side down and -- most horrifying of all -- slapped her daughter.
Although Berke's company initially emphasized background checks on nannies, the video surveillance part of her business has grown at a far more rapid pace and now constitutes the bulk of her work.
"There's been a regular increase in my business over the last few years, at least 20 or 30 percent a year," she says, crediting the growth to a weakening economy sending more and more parents back into the workforce and to an uptick in awareness thanks to the media.
"As 'Dateline' and other news magazines run stories on Jekyll-and-Hyde nannies, more people start talking about it and thinking about it," she says. "Every time someone does a story about it, we see a spike."
Sleicher says his nanny-cam clients are typically middle-class parents in search of a little reassurance.
"Usually, wealthy couples can afford to have one parent stay home," he says. "We're getting more the younger professional couples who are both still forging their careers. I think parental guilt comes in. They want to do something to protect their kid and they don't know what to do. Then they find out about us."
Bill San Filippo, 44, a real estate agent in Queens, N.Y., and his then-wife, Tara, a nurse, cammed their nanny a few years ago after they came home several times to find their children -- then 2 years old and 6 months old -- with completely soiled diapers. They set up a video camera they already owned on a shelf under a pile of clothes and aimed it at their bed, which doubled as a changing area for their kids. Sure enough, within just a day or two of taping, their worst fears were confirmed.
"She just went to sleep on the bed, and you heard the kids crying and crying in the background," San Filippo recalls. "I didn't have to find another thing after that. That was enough to say, 'I'm going to have to let you go.'"
With their confidence shaken, the San Filippos -- who had already gone through several other less-than-adequate nannies --decided not to take another chance. Bill left his job to stay home with the kids.
While it is legal in many states to videotape someone in your own home without dual-party consent -- federal laws curtailing the use of audio taping is the only pertinent law currently on the books, and its application to nanny cams is murky at best -- nanny cams do raise thorny privacy issues.
Jay Stanley, spokesman for the American Civil Liberties Union's Technology and Liberty program, says the lack of legislation regulating the use of nanny cams and other forms of covert surveillance reflects our legal system's inability to keep pace with technology. "It takes the laws a while to digest" new technology and new uses for existing technology, he says, adding that there is an "aching need" in the United States for a "comprehensive overarching law that establishes some broad principles of privacy."
The use of nanny cams, Stanley says, runs contrary to our societal principles of fairness. "People should not be monitored without their knowledge and consent," he contends. "Most baby sitters are not harming children and they have a right to a certain amount of dignity."
Stanley concedes that, because they are protecting children, nanny cams may be "the best case you can make" for covert surveillance, but that their increasingly widespread use nevertheless challenges the "overarching privacy principles that have served us well across a wide variety of fields and that express basic notions of fairness."
Stanley's argument is not lost on Carrie O'Neill (not her real name), 42, a New York writer, psychologist and mother of a 1-year-old whose nanny was cammed by a previous employer without her knowledge. The information gleaned from the previous employer's nanny cam and imparted to O'Neill when she called to check references -- that the nanny was even better with the kids when the parents had left the house than when the parents were there -- felt "like insurance."
But as profoundly relieved as she is to know that her babysitter looked as good on camera as off, O'Neill says she feels "totally guilty about being the beneficiary" of an action she considers deceitful.
"It might occur to me to want to do it, but I would never do it," she says. "It strikes me as something profoundly wrong to do to somebody without their consent. It's a violation."
Tonight: Saving Time, Saving Lives - See what emergency rooms are doing to drastically reduce the wait.
For nannies, this erosion of privacy is not just theoretical. It's personal. And it deeply concerns Pat Cascio, president of the International Nanny Association, which discourages covert camming.
"What if a nanny is feeding a baby and the baby spits up all over her," she says. "She takes off her blouse and possibly even her slacks to go launder them and now you've got a tape that you're watching of her in her underwear. That's not fair."
What's more, Cascio says she's not surprised that so many covert cammers find something bad going on at home. "These are people who already suspect something is going wrong," she says. If there's any doubt in parents' minds that their employee is doing her job, Cascio says, "I would suggest replacing her immediately rather than trying to catch her at something."
But interestingly, while Cascio is no fan of camming "on the sneak," she does think the camera can have a place in the nanny-parent relationship.
"If the parents approach this in a positive light and say we're going to use this as an evaluation tool as well as to keep connected to the baby and how he or she spends her day," Cascio says, "I think then the nanny could say, 'I think that's good. You can't be there, but I'd love to have you see him take his first steps or see how much he had to eat today or how funny he was when he made this face or whatever.' Then it's a relationship-building tool rather than something that destroys a relationship."
In fact, some nannies view camming as an insurance policy of their own.
"I'm all for cameras," says Mary, 23, an Irish nanny who has been in the States for four years and currently works for a family in Manhattan. "The way I see it, it's covering my back, too."
A few years ago, Mary says, she took a job for a family knowing that there was a camera in the house. The couple who hired her didn't tell her and had no idea that Mary knew it was there. She'd been tipped off by the family's prior nanny.
"I was actually glad it was there because one of the kids had attention deficit disorder and she was constantly beating up on her younger sister," says Mary. "One day, the older one pushed the younger one and the younger one pushed her back and they both turned to me and said, 'We're telling my mommy you hit us.' I was like, oh my God. So in that case it was excellent that it was there."
Mary, who now works for a couple she calls her "best friends," says she'd be hurt if her current employers installed a camera without telling her because it would indicate a lack of trust, but if they put one in and told her, she says, she'd be "quite happy."
"To me, not being from the United States, I don't have a lot of rights in this country compared to what I would have in my own country. If there'd been a camera in the Louise Woodward case, they would have been able to pinpoint what happened to that little child," she says, alluding to the controversial case in which a British nanny was convicted of murdering the 8-month-old boy under her care (the charge was later reduced to involuntary manslaughter).
But not all nannies are as gung-ho about cameras as Mary. Take Paola Di Marco, 27, a nanny from Argentina who cares for small children for several families in Brooklyn. She says she can see the value of a camera to parents, but admits she'd be horrified -- for reasons that have nothing to do with her childcare skills -- if she found out she'd been secretly monitored by an employer.
"If nobody tells you there's a camera there," she says, "that's crossing a line."
Di Marco worries about parents watching her in private moments. For example, "sometimes I might hike up my panties when the kids are around because I know they don't care," she says. "But if I know that then his or her parents can see me do that? You have the right to control what someone sees you do."
Ultimately, Cascio says, if parents really do their research, hire well and watch for cues from their child, they won't "need to be sneaking around putting cameras on" their nannies.
But what about the Barrons? They interviewed, checked references, saw the nanny interacting well with their child. Could their situation have been avoided?
Jake says that in retrospect there were some red flags: the nanny's allusion to having had an abusive parent, the controlling husband who accompanied her to the interview, and the general feeling that Jake and Anna couldn't shake that something was not quite right. They might have overlooked these things, Jake admits, because they were so desperate for someone to care for Evan.
The next time the Barrons looked for a nanny, however, they played it safe. They hired a woman they knew, who had cared for a neighbor's child, and who they had seen interact with children for years. They loved her. Evan loved her. And no, they didn't cam her. Says Jake: "We just didn't feel the need."
I wanted to let the parents of twin girls who were in a playground in Central Park (near Alice and Wonderland) that their nanny does not keep the girls' hats (both hats were red with Pom Poms) or mittens (red) on. This was horrible. The girls (about three years old) were freezing.
A concerened mom on the upper East Side.
I just wanted to thank the individual who posted the email regarding the two girls in the park. I am their mother.
Wow. Great to hear. New York city is a great place to raise children, don't you think?
Almost saw a car run over a stroller today. Unfortunately, I did not have time to get the driver's license.
The following news story demonstrates the need for nannycams:
"Hidden Camera Nails Doctor"
A doctor, two nurses, and several aides from a Queens nursing home were arrested yesterday and face charges adter a hidden-camera investigation revealed chronic patient neglect.
A secret camera installed in a patients room recorded the comings and goings of staffers over five weeks.
Despite doctor's orders that the patient be given therapy and be turned and repositioned regularly, the patient was mostly ignored, the tape showed.
Also, the doctor claimed in paperwork that he'd examined the patient twice. But the videotape shows he only stuck his head in the doorway once and provided no treatments, according to the attorney general's office.
Thank you for the information. Nanny cams could have saved my mother from a horrible death in a nursing home.
Thank you for the information. Do you rent out nanny cams? Nervous New York Mom.
I do rent out nanny cams, please go to whereismybaby.com's services page for more information. Please feel free to call me anytime.
We need more role mommies.
Role mommies and women who look out for, rather than compete with, other moms. If we do not start cooperating, we will destroy everything that we, our mothers and grandmothers worked for. Whatever happened to dignity and class?
Role Mommies is an excellent oganization, the best group of intelligent women out there.
Hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving. I'd put nancams in EVERY room.
In the past two days I have read articles in the New York Times regarding individuals who are abused/neglected by the people who are protect them. (The hidden camera placed in the nursing home, a nanny smacking a baby in between cell phone calls). Today I read that the number of construction workers killed on the job is due to the fact that employers are not following safety regulations. Fatal accidents could have been prevented if the construction managers issued and inforced the use of proper safety gear. Finaly, an industry watchdog is discussing the possibility of unanounced visits to worksights to see if construction companies are following the safety regulations when they think that no one is watching. Does anyone understand
I completely understand the similarity. What strikes me is that construction companies are (justifiably) in need of some type of audit, nannies should be "audited." How can any parent argue that this is not in their child's best interest. Why are parents missing the point when it comes to child safety. If a parent let their child use a climbing wall, wouldn't they make sure that their child's safety harness was on?
The NY Times article regarding the death of a teenager in a state juvenile detention center in Fulton County (November 22, 2006), they would see another example of the dangers of placing vulnerable people (children and the ederly or infirm) in situations where their "gaurdians" are not being monitered. In this particular case, a 15-year-old bronx boy stopped breathing minutes after he was physically restrained by two employees of a state juvenile detention center in Fulton County. The issue: whether the restraint that was used was excessive. We will never know until we monitor situations where this type of misuse of "power" is predictable. Just like the negligence and abuse exposed by hidden camera in the recent nursing home case, the violence in this juvenile detention center is preventable if and when we hold adults accountable for their actions. Unfortunately, we cannot hold people accountable because there is no monitoring of these adults.
Tamara:
Thank you for providing this forum on your website. After reading these posts, I am not afraid to install nanny cams in my apartment. On the contrary, I feel that it is my duty as a parent to do so. I must look out for my six-month old daughter and, therefore, I must put my fear of seeing harm done to my child and my concerns for my nanny's privacy to the wayside.
One of my biggest concerns is the safety of my child (in her stroller) when I am crossing the busy intersections (particularly on Park Avenue where the stop lights are few and far between). I spoke to my nanny and she shares my anxiety. Should we contact the Mayor's Office before this gets out of control and a child is hurt simply because the cars cannot see the stroller?
This is a true story:
The father was so right to put in nanny cams, but there is so much more we can learn from this story:
Please feel free to pass this story on.
A nanny who fled from the police after she was videotaped abusing children in her care has been arrested after a three-month pursuit, the authorities said. The children, 2-year-old twins, did not suffer major injuries. The police said the former live-in nanny, Alicia Gay Williams, 25, of Brooklyn, was arrested on Wednesday and was being held without bail in Brooklyn. Ms. Williams was charged with assault and child endangerment, and could face a maximum of 30 years in prison if convicted. Last October, Richard Acciavatti of Jersey City, the father of the twins, installed video cameras in his home after his children began acting strangely.
Are there any nanny agencies that have a business partnership with whereismybaby.com? It seems like a great idea.
I would really respect a nanny placement agency who (remember, child safety is the priority) would step up to the plate and partner with where is my baby to do background checks, install nanny cams, surveillance.
I have tried to partner with nanny agencies in New York City but, so far, not one nanny placement agency in New York has been interested.
Great question - thank you for asking.
What do you think is more important to protect your child? Nanny cams or background checks.
It would seem to me that both are necessary.
A background check can tell you if someone has been bad but the nanny cams can tell you if your nanny is currently "good" or "bad."
Do you agree?
Curious New York Mom
This is good news for parents who are justifiably concerned about the safety of our children when they walk to school (or anywhere in New York City).
December 1, 2006 -- Students at nearly 1,500 public and parochial elementary and middle schools will soon get maps detailing the safest way for them to get to school, under a much-delayed city project unveiled yesterday.
In addition to the maps, city officials announced that construction on long-term improvements around 32 of 135 schools prone to traffic hazards would begin late next year.
"Keeping our children safe around schools is as important as keeping them safe inside schools," Mayor Bloomberg said in announcing an expansion of the Safe Routes to School program at PS 21 in The Bronx.
Traffic-safety maps, detailing the locations of traffic signals, crosswalks, speed bumps in a multiblock grid around each school, are currently being sent to schools and will be available online at the city Department of Transportation's Web site this month.
The program, thought to be the most ambitious of its kind in the country at a price tag of $31.5 million to date, was announced nearly three years ago and has been both lauded for its scope and criticized for taking so long to bear fruit.
Iris Weinshall, the city transportation commissioner, whose agency oversaw the study of 1,471 schools, attributed the delay to a broadening of the traffic studies as the project got under way.
She added that she saw no reason for the expansion of the program, involving detailed traffic studies of another 135 elementary and middle schools and 40 high schools, to be delayed.
Over all, the studies recommended a variety of safety enhancements for the 135 priority schools, including 775 sidewalk extensions, 1,837 upgraded crosswalk signs and 80 new pedestrian islands.
Many of the recommendations, from freshly outlined crosswalks to new speed bumps, have already been installed, according to city officials and transportation watchdogs.
Paul White, executive director of Transportation Alternatives, an advocacy group that helped launch the Safe Routes project in The Bronx in the 1990s, was pleased with the development.
"Clearly, the city has taken a big step forward today," White said. "I think this is a fundamental shift in the way the city balances the needs of motorists and pedestrians."
Thank you for the article re: safer ways for children to get to school.
I appreciate the Mayor's initiative; but I do not think his proposal would be practical and/or effective.
There are better ways to keep children crossing the street, nannies with strollers crossing the street, people in wheelchairs, etc. from crossing the street in NYC.
Do you agree?
Below is a story from today's New York Times:
Queens: A Carona woman was sentenced in State Supreme Court to 10 years in prison for manslaughter in the death of a 13-month old she was caring for as a nanny babysitter. Dolores Guzman, 31, was charged withshaking the girl, Andrea Lopez Palacios, and throwing her to the floor on May 9th. Prosecuters attributed the deat to shaken baby syndrome.
I believe I have an answer to the question posed by another blogger recently regarding the blogger's observation that the tone of the blog had changed.
I apologize, but my daughter and her friends found the site on Myspace.
I am looking forward to tighter controls of the internet to protect our children; I will now look into how to protect blogsites FROM children.
Strike that, reverse it.